Tuesday, October 22, 2002

I'd rather be sprayed with shit
When Lester Young was asked about playing pop music, that was his reply.And speaking of being sprayed with feces, I bought an SUV at an auction on Friday and the truck smells like dog excrement. It truly does. Of course I didn't know that at the time of purchase. I was too busy trying to focus on twenty other things at the same time. If you have ever been to an auto auction,I must say it is a traumatizing experience. Planned chaos and mayhem in an evil carnival setting is one way to describe an auto auction. At least there's forplay when you go to a used auto dealer. This experience is comparable to an overcrowded GYN clinic with three minutes per patient. [ No, I am not a woman and yes, I am a sensitive man who has seen way too much...] No hug, no kiss, just an empty confused feeling of having been quickly and deeply probed and shown the door to the cashier.
Oh but wait......! You have an hour alone with the vehicle. To do what? To inspect it. I didn't know that you could take any complaints to an arbitrator and get them to take care of specific problems or get the seller to take back the vehicle..until an hour and fifteen minutes later. DOH!!! So, now I own an SUV that has been sprayed with shit. It does look nice, though.

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