Friday, July 26, 2002

So, today
before Mom took Jenna to school, I put on one of my favorite songs in the truly rock/jazz vain by the late drummer Tony Williams. My daughter started dancing with her own unique form which I am truly impressed because she is incorporating ballet moves with hiphop, and not a reckless abandonment one would assume a 4 year old is going to display. She does have technique! She reached Papa today. I had forgotten how hard I would dance when I was young. Jenna reminded me about this great alternative to being depressed, angry and frustrated After they left I danced wildly, and fiercely around the room stomping my feet hard on the floor. I used to perform like that all of the time. You see, on stage I have reached, after years of not being, that space when you don't know where you are and your eyes are closed and you hear everything going on around you and vision would only be a distraction if you did open your eyes.It's wonderful to be back there when the feeling of the music is just right and you lean your head back, eyes closed, and bathe in it, the magic. This makes me happy. I am thankful to once again feel the true, pure, pleasure one can achieve making music. I used to go to that place a lot when I was young. People asked me what I was on and do you know I never did drugs. The music was such an intense thing that it would put me in a trance. I would know exactly what was going on but I would be in a trance-like state. I remember some hole of the ass insisting I was high on drugs and/or alcohol after a big performance when i was 18. It's ashame he will never understand or achieve that feeling I had then and have regained since.

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