Thursday, October 31, 2002

When I was 18 and married the first time...
I'd gotten a job with the City Arts Council of Albany,N.Y. [I believe that's what it was called in the 70's]. Our offices were located in the same complex as the Asylum. I thought that this was a cruel joke and a statement to all artists. I now understand and except the fact that you have to be insanely in love with art to keep doing it exclusively for the rest of your life so, maybe they had a point...Anyhoo, everyone working in this complex shared the cafeteria and usually you'd see the residents there. No problem for me but everytime there was a full moon, the patients would get out of control. It would start with one, then three, then the whole place would be cooking almost turning into a riot and then it would be quickly diffused. Happened every month. [This sort reminds me of what happens to bloggers] You go off, I go off, we all go off.
Being 18yrs old, a newlywed, with my child [Tamar Naomi, my first born] on the way was quite stressful enough. I tried my best. I was scared and I prayed constantly for strength and wisdom. I don't think I stopped until July 2001. That's when I started really caving in from the inside. I felt it was time to leave the States and start anew anywhere else and disown the attitudes of this country and show that we are feeling thinking human beings with families like anyone else and the bottom line is to live in peace and harmony with others all over the world. Then 9/11 hit us. I've traveled abroad since then and have found that some people just outright hate the U.S. for it's arrogance among other things. I guess I'm trying to figure some stuff today concerning tolerance, among other things. I will conclude with this; somebody cut me deeply last night and I'm working through it. Jeneane has been very supportive and I do appreciate her for being there. Time to stop...


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