Tuesday, January 28, 2003


Just another strange fuckin' day for me.

My brain is getting me back for past abuse...

OK I'm reading some headlines in my confused state of being today and I come across the Soprano's style murder case against the victim's two sons.

A little while ago a boy under 15yrs old was convicted of body slamming a little girl imitating a wrestling move. Somebody, fill me in with the details on that one because the powers that be said that it was a viscious violent act on the youths part and he full well knew what the results were going to be... I think he is doing serious time now.

Okay, we had reports about how TV violence doesn't affect or influence the minds of youths [let alone adults. I couldn't believe that shit when I heard it] Now I'm reading how a killing method featured on the Soprano's influenced these youths to try it on their mother.

WTF! Seems like an open shut case but, I wonder how a lawyer is going to squeeze them out of this one? Oh, it's gonna happen and I am curious to see how it will be said that these poor kids couldn't distinguish between reality and fiction. I'm thinking it will be a drug related case and the powers that be will somehow sympathize with the murdering youths.

Why is the media harping on the Soprano's so much? I guess that's what the youths were imitating when they dismembered their mother.

If you haven't guessed I'm in ranting mode and I'm trying to calm down. Trauma is a mutha. It's a daily thing for some of us who have no immediate reason to panic. We can just let the headlines or, anything else for that matter,throw us into a tizzy. OK specifically, me! I can't speak for anyone else but I think that any sensitive human should and WILL be affected overtly as well as covertly. Am I making sense? Please somebody tell me I'm not alone because I can't believe I can deal with all this crud in the world. I guess some days are better for each and evry one of us; we can take this nonsense for a time and then we just snap! I'm okay [I think] for now.

Can you hear me cry out in confusion and pain?

When is Mom going to call and tell me it's alright?

What fucking planet am I on?


Wow! I had this dream that we were on planet earth and things were screwed up. People were focusing on the results and not the root of the problem and their was this huge pile of papers that went into the sky. These pages were detailed problems that were waiting to be solved but mankind couldn't handle the work load because greed, money and power got in the way of every aspect of living. You see, back then, in order to live we had to take sides based on region, language and color. Everything had to be communicated in words because the majority of us forgot how to communicate with our eyes and body gestures. Alot of meaning was lost. Maybe some of us forgot how to read these languages because most people wouldn't look you in the eye. Most didn't because they knew they were lying and afraid to be found out, their dual motives and all...

To be continued...


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