The following text is part of a hand-out some companies give their soon to be departed employees:


Surviving Your Demoralization and Spirit-Breaking Demise or Making the most of a Layoff


Keep getting up in the AM. [This is for real. Can you believe this shite?! Yes, my only reason to get up in the morning was to deal with your nonsense otherwise my preschool children are pretty much on their own. These assholes must think that everyone who works for them is a college student!]


Look for a new job right away.[Gee, thanks for the tip. Of course I wouldn't be in this predicament if you hadn't LET ME GO YOU M****R F****RS!!!]


Let your contacts know that you're back and willing to drink the capric wine straight from the pap! [Huh? I didn't get that one...]


Arrange to be notified by email about jobs. [ Now, how lazy is that? Hmmm, An employer will respect this method, I'm sure!]


Keep your interview prowess to an optimum. [I have an idea: Why don't I have my ex-boss do the interview in between cleaning out my former department. They will eventually need there interviewing skills sharpened. I'll be at home, balled up in the corner, repeating to my self,'Why..WHY?]


Think about working for a temp agency directly across your former place of employment so you can observe the goings on [On lunch breaks, go to the roof and, well, scope it out. I mean -scope it out-!


Emotional goals and daily rituals can stabilize us when the ground beneath our feet is gone [Talk about some arrogant sons of b****! Rituals? 'Honey that's the tenth time you've washed your hands in ten minutes!! - 'I'm s-s--sorry. I c-c-c-c-can't get them c-c-c-clean!]



You will be sure to soon join the ranks of the fully employed and your despair and animosity will be a thing of the past...or will it..................-enter diabolical laughter here