Friday, December 20, 2002

Have you ever sat and watched your hard drive Defrag from start to finish?

For some goofy reason I watched my 'puter go through it's changes and now I can't see straight...well I think I got the Baby Blogger's fever but, anyway...

Is it my fever or, did I just screw up a lesson I got from Meg at Mandarin ?

I'm going to bed...

Thursday, December 19, 2002


I had a musical rant prepared but I had to go to a gig. The ideas were developed and I could see it being blogged. Really, I did.

There's nothing like going to a job, hauling your equiptment through the loading dock [mine being an upright bass and a handtruck with your amplifier on it] to the lift, to one of the hotel bars to look into the face of another bassist. And the conversation goes like this:

1st Bass: Hi!! Hey, man, what are YOU doing here?

2nd Bassist: I was gonna ask you the same th...ooooohhhhhhh what a minute...?!

1st Bassist: Are you playing another function in the hotel? Don't tell me...

1st and 2nd Bassists in unison: Double Booked?!

Pretty musical, huh?
It's been awhile since the last time it happened to me but, when it does you get this jolt of realization and somebody bows out or somebody wants to fight. The other bassist offered to pack up and go but I back ed down and said, 'You're here. You're set up already and that's cool. I really don't have a problem with you. I'm going to go find one responsible for this and take it from there.' In the old days, I wouldn't have been mature enough to walk away and resolve the problem 'friendly like'. You know, you get psyched to perform and you have that energy reserved for a performance and something or somebody causes you to spill every drop. LOL

Wow! I'm maturing! See, men do take longer to grow!

Actually in the old days I had the wrong kind of pride. Now that I know one can resolve situations for the better, I feel good. I'm losing the baggage that I came here with. Leave that shit out there! You don't need it anymore.

I have to confess that I usually go to group therapy on this night but I needed to work so, I took the gig. When the double booking occurred, I must confess, I was overjoyed. I tell you guys this stuff 'cause I know you'll understand...teehee

This wasn't a musical rant but, maybe it is...Maybe I can tie it into becoming a mature musician. That's it! Okay, my heart and being is still fulfilled even though I didn't get a chance to play because I am learning to communicate verbally with people and group therapy fulfilled me the way music used to [but, music still does fulfill me...]. Oh yeah...maturity! That's it! I'm maturing, getting a balance of things instead of running to and hiding inside of the music that i wish I could caress and kiss [thanx Jimi...].

Check out Blu's site. The following words of wisdom were left for me in the comments box by Blu:

May those who love us, love us

And those who don't

May god turn their hearts

And if he can't turn their hearts

May he turn their ankles

So we'll know them by their limping!

blu (e) (w) @ 18 Dec 02 11:24

Blu has a great blogsite.

2nd Bassist: Are you cool with that?

1st Bassist: Yeah, I'm cool...

Monday, December 16, 2002

Kick Her Again, Mommy!

I told you guys to stop your shit, didn't I? So, I go to Jeneane's blog and lo & behold there is her comments section filled with people trying to shame her, at least that's what they're trying to do.

Honey, why are these people pissing on your blog?
The last thing I saw Bics write was on the Human's First blog pissing and moaning. I'm looking at myself right now...did my mother raise me to piss and moan when she was covertly and overtly abusing me. I don't think she much cared what she was raising half the time because she was too angry at my father. My mom's a man hater from way back so I have a nose for men who were raised in a one parent family where the mother's bitterness affects the son[s] she is raising. I'm still on the journey of healing and part of the process is to undo what my mother continues to do to her sons and grandsons. It's traumatic what parents do to their children--especially mothers to sons.

How do we inherit stupidity...let's see: The father screws up, the mother is hurt and the kids get mis-used, dumped on and abused. In my case it was get back time and 'whoever looks more like my ex-husband is going to be my personal dumping ground and punching bag.' I don't think some mothers realize they are doing this to their children! So I guess it is all the father's fault, huh? Okay, I'm being a jerk but my point is I do speak from experience.

We all have our moments and I suppose some of us have our years...



OK I went upstairs a minute ago to get away from the online drama [you know who you are...]

in time to see the Kingston Trio playing 'Tom Dooley'. I thought I was at a rap show! Lyrics like,'I met her on the mountain, that's when I stabbed her with my knife' are delivered ever so gently while non-black folks with a decade on me are seen mouthing those very same lyrics. Interesting...artistic license...symbolisation? I'm confused too...Did we have something more special or different to say in those days? Maybe not because I see that generation and the hip-hop generation doing the same thing tonight; Fighting! What happened to all of those college kids saying Peace? They were probably looking for a piece then and they have disappeared now. I looked up to the pacifists and I practiced being at peace with All people[s] [While I was getting the snot kicked out of me at home, but that's another story...]

PBS is having their fund drive and they are showing the best of [read:best known] the Folk stars.
Roger McGuinn just performed Pete Seegers take on Ecclesiastes.

The song 'Turn,Turn,Turn'. It was beautiful the way he sings like he's telling a child a bedtime story. Lovingly, gently but with an urgency. You could actually see him playing the guitar parts! WOW! That's how he did that! I remember hearing the Byrds on the radio doing this same song...It must've taken me back when I would be in my room at night [in the 60's]. Aahhhhh -comfort. 'A time for peace, I swear it's not too late'...

TURN! TURN! TURN! (Book of Ecclastiastes/Pete Seeger)

To every thing, turn, turn, turn,

There is a season, turn, turn,turn,

And a time to every purpose under heaven

A time to be born, a time to die
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep

To everything, turn, turn, turn,

There is a season, turn, turn, turn,

And a time to every purpose under heaven

A time to build up, a time to break down
A time to dance, a time to mourn
A time to cast away stones
A time to gather stones together

To everything, turn, turn, turn,

There is a season, turn, turn, turn,

And a time to every purpose under heaven

A time of love, a time of hate
A time of war, a time of peace
A time you may embrace
A time to refrain from embracing

To everything, turn, turn, turn,

There is a season, turn, turn, turn,

And a time to every purpose under heaven

A time to gain, a time to lose
A time to rend, a time to sew
A time to love, a time to hate
A time for peace, I swear it's not too late

The Byrds "Turn!Turn! Turn!"
Columbia Records 1965

I was told that Eight Miles High was written after the fellas saw John Coltrane playing in the Village. That would explain the way out guitar solo...

Eight Miles High (Gene Clark/Roger McGuinn/David Crosby)

Eight miles high and when you touch down

You'll find that it's stranger than known

Signs in the street that say where you're going

Are somewhere just being their own

Nowhere is there warmth to be found

Among those afraid of losing their ground

Rain gray town known for its sound

In places small faces unbound

Round the squares huddled in storms

Some laughing some just shapeless forms

Sidewalk scenes and black limousines

Some living, some standing alone

Copyright @ 1966 Tickson Music
The Byrds "Fifth Dimension" Columbia Records 1966

To my circle of Bloggers:
Come on, you guys! We didn't come this far just to alienate one another. We need to forget about conflicts, even if it's for a minute, and greet the new arrivals!!!

Sunday, December 15, 2002

I cannot believe the fact that I haven't blogged nearly four days!!! How did that happen? Time goes by when your in debt. Where am I? Oh yeah, I'm blogging at my computer. It's 4am and I am tired from playing tonight. It actually felt good to play again. I think this movie Jeneane and I saw Friday night had something to do with it. 'Standing in the shadows of Motown' sums up alot of things for me and tomorrow when I'm more awake I will elaborate on this. Exaustion take it's tolllllll.......................zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz